What to do if Your Child Gets Self-Intimidated?
Summary: Self-intimidation happens when young athletes psych themselves out before or during competition. It can cause doubt, anxiety, and loss of focus, leading to poor performance. Parents can help by teaching their children to focus on their own skills, create a game plan, and maintain a consistent pre-game routine.
When young athletes psych themselves out before competition, it is called self-intimidation. Self-intimidation starts its destructive power at the very beginning of the match, or may even be something the athlete starts working on weeks before the game. Self-intimidation can cause athletes to lose composure and lose focus during the competition. This in turn can lead to poor performance.
Symptoms of Self-intimidation
Self-intimidation can have many different causes. It is important for the athlete to identify when this intimidation is happening and what the cause might be. Here are some common signs to look for in your young athlete to see if she has self-intimidation.
- Feel pressure to perform perfectly or win
- Doubt their own level of skill competing at a high level
- Compare themselves to other athletes who they think are better
- Worry about competing against a ranked or well-known athlete
- Get caught up in the importance of a game
I, Dr. Cohn, played high school football at a small school in the city of Buffalo. Many of us had to play on both offense and defense because of our small school size. We relied on quickness and smarts to win games.
When we went to play bigger teams in the country, they most often were stronger and larger than us city folk. It was easy to look across the field and see how many tall players they had compared to our small team.
These mental comparisons that our football team made with the other team are similar to the errors that my students make today. They may:
- Worry about the reputation or record of the opponent
- Compare their skills against the skills of their opponent
- Watch their competition warm up and lose confidence
- Doubt their ability to play well against their competitor
Our football coach was well aware that some of the players on our team were gawking at the other team members and mentally making comparisons. He could tell that we were becoming intimidated by their size and numbers. I remember the coach telling us to focus on our warm up and not pay attention to the other team in the pregame.
As my coach suggested then, kids should focus on their own game and their own strategies for winning. They should concentrate on what they have to do to prepare for the competition. Kids should avoid gawking at their opponents. A triathlete for example, may think about racing the course to the best of his ability instead of racing named athletes in his division or class. Talking about the possibility of self-intimidation ahead of time can help kids to anticipate the distraction. It helps to see your competitors as just humans.
What are they thinking and feeling? Could that ranked athlete feel nervous to lose their position? By getting inside that competitor’s head, kids will realize that all players have mental game issues that they need to deal with.
Parents can help on the day of the competition by bringing their kids back to their focus. Acknowledge the situation, it’s a big game, the other player is highly ranked, or they have a good record, and then bring the athlete back to the focus. Self-intimidation can be minimized by kids having their own game plan, having confidence in the plan, and keeping their focus on the plan.
Coping With “Self-Intimidation”
1.Recognize Self-Intimidation Early
Watch for signs of self-intimidation, such as doubting skills, comparing themselves to opponents, or feeling pressure to win. Identifying these behaviors early helps your child regain composure and focus before the competition begins.
2.Focus on Personal Performance
Encourage your child to concentrate on their own strategies and preparation rather than worrying about the opponent’s reputation or abilities. Focusing on their game reduces distraction and builds confidence.
3.Develop a Pre-Game Routine
Help your child establish a consistent warm-up and mental preparation routine. This keeps attention on their own performance and prevents them from being intimidated by competitors.
4.Use Positive Mental Framing
Talk through potential challenges with your child before the game. Help them see competitors as human, and remind them that nervousness and pressure affect everyone, even highly ranked athletes.
5.Create a Focused Game Plan
Work with your child to create a clear, step-by-step game plan. Reinforce confidence in the plan on competition day, and redirect attention to execution rather than comparison or intimidation.
Related Sports Psychology Articles
- Comparison’s Impact on Athletes Confidence
- Helping Kids Perform Their Best in Sports at Crunch Time
- Five Tips for Helping Kids Deal with Disappointment after Making Mistakes
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FAQ: Helping Kids to Cope with “Self-Intimidation”
Q: What is self-intimidation in young athletes?
A: Self-intimidation occurs when athletes psych themselves out before or during competition. It can lead to doubt, anxiety, and a loss of focus, which negatively affects performance.
Q: What are common signs of self-intimidation?
A: Signs include feeling pressure to perform perfectly, doubting skills, comparing themselves to other athletes, worrying about a strong or well-known opponent, and overemphasizing the importance of a game.
Q: How can parents help their child avoid self-intimidation?
A: Parents can redirect their child’s focus to their own game, encourage confidence in their skills, and remind them to stick to their pre-planned strategies rather than comparing themselves to opponents.
Q: How can athletes prepare mentally before a competition?
A: Athletes should focus on personal game plans, review strategies, and anticipate distractions. Visualizing success and maintaining a positive mindset can help them stay calm and focused.
Q: Why is focusing on the opponent harmful?
A: Watching competitors or comparing skills can increase anxiety and undermine confidence. It distracts athletes from executing their own strategies and achieving peak performance.
Q: Can talking about self-intimidation beforehand help?
A: Yes, discussing potential distractions and mental challenges before a game prepares athletes to recognize and manage self-intimidation, helping them stay focused during competition.
Kids Sports Psychology expert Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. has helped athletes for over 35 years to enhance their performance. Dr. Cohn earned a master’s degree in sports psychology from CSUF and a Ph.D. from the University of Virginia, specializing in Applied Sports Psychology. Today, he is the president and founder of Peak Performance Sports, LLC in Orlando, Florida.