4 Tips to Help Young Athletes with Coaches Who Yell

Why Coaches Yell at Athletes?

Summary: Coaches often yell at athletes because they believe it is the best way to get attention or deliver a wake-up call. Many lack effective communication skills and don’t realize the negative impact yelling has on young athletes. When coaches yell, athletes may shut down, take the criticism personally, or try to separate the useful feedback from the harsh tone. Yelling can lower confidence, hurt self-esteem, and even cause kids to lose interest in their sport.

Coaches should treat their athletes with respect. Unfortunately, events don’t always unfold as we would like.

Coaches who yell feel as if it is a wake-up call and the best way to deliver feedback or instructions. Most of these coaches have no idea how to communicate effectively. They may not be aware of how they affect young athletes.

With coaches who yell, athletes lose confidence, worry about making mistakes and lose interest in their sport. In some cases, kids’ self-esteem takes a hit and they end up believing, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m a disappointment,” or “I’m a failure.”

Many times, these athletes quit because they no longer enjoy competing. While kids can’t control how their coaches give instruction, there are ways to minimize the negative impact and even help kids improve their performance.

When Coaches Yell, Young Athletes Will:

Shut down: Many athletes shut down with coaches who yell at them. It doesn’t matter if the coach has insightful information to build their game. For these athletes, shutting down is an automatic response to the chaos. Shutting down means kids build an invisible wall around themselves. While it may block out some noise, it prevents athletes from dealing with their feelings or improving their game.

Take it personally. Some athletes only hear the tone. No matter what the coach says, it is drowned out by the yelling. Kids will interpret the loud and negative tone as if there is something wrong with them.

Find the message. Some athletes separate the message from the tone. They still aren’t okay with the tone, but they extract what can help their game and discard the rest. This enables these athletes to protect their confidence, sift through the shouting and find information they can apply to elevate their game.

If their coach is yelling, these kids chalk it up to the coach having a personal issue. They know it’s inappropriate for coaches to yell at them, but they try to avoid allowing it to affect them negatively or lessen how they think about themselves.

If a sport is important to a young athlete, they shouldn’t let anyone don’t steal their joy. Instead, they should look for the message and stay committed to their game.

NBA Outburst

In Game 2 of the NBA playoff series between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Minnesota Timberwolves, Lakers coach JJ Redick became livid early in the second quarter.

Redick called a timeout and was angry with his team for allowing an 8-4 run to open the second and cut the Lakers’ lead to 11. Redick didn’t hold back during the timeout.

After the game, Los Angeles Laker LeBron James commented on Redick’s outburst and the importance of separating the message from the tone.

“We know JJ is going to (flip) out from time to time,” James said. “That’s JJ. … At this point, for us, we obviously need to listen to the message and know how it’s delivered. For me, my high school coach my freshman year was kind of the same way. He would (spaz) out on us and you have to be able to understand it’s not how it’s saying it. But we responded out there.”

How to Deal with Coaches Who Yell?

Dealing with coaches who yell at athletes isn’t easy, but kids have the power to control their response. A coach’s tone should never define young athletes’ ability or worth. It is crucial to stay focused on what matters: their love for the game and their athletic journey.

When their coach yells, kids should take a deep breath, extract any useful information, discard the noise and remind themselves why they started competing in the first place.

Dealing with coaches who yell at athletes isn’t easy, but kids have the power to control their response. A coach’s tone should never define young athletes’ ability or worth.

Yelling is not coaching. It is crucial to stay focused on what matters: their love for the game and their athletic journey. When their coach yells, kids should take a deep breath, extract any useful information, discard the noise, and remind themselves why they started competing in the first place.

How to Cope Better with Coaches Who Yell:

1. Protect your confidence when coaches yell

When coaches raise their voices, young athletes often shut down or take the criticism personally. Instead of letting yelling damage your confidence, remind yourself that the coach’s tone does not define your skills. Focus on the message, not the volume, to keep your self-belief strong.

2. Separate the message from the tone

Athletes who thrive under pressure learn to block out when coaches yell and identify useful feedback. Even if a coach is loud or negative, extract the instruction that can improve your game. This helps you stay mentally tough and continue growing as a player.

3. Don’t let yelling steal your love of the game

Many kids lose motivation and quit sports because of harsh coaching. Remember why you started competing in the first place. Protect your passion for your sport by staying committed to your goals and not allowing yelling to take away your joy.

4. Develop resilience against negative coaching

Coaches who yell often create fear and frustration, but athletes can build resilience by controlling their response. Take a deep breath, stay calm, and focus on improving your performance. This mindset strengthens both your mental game and long-term success in sports.

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Related Kids Sports Psychology Articles:

• How Toxic Sports Cultures Hurt Kids’ Mental Health
• Helping Sports Kids Let Go of Mistakes
• What Can Parents Do When Coaches Bully Their Sports Kids?

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FAQ: When Coaches Yell at Athletes

Why do coaches yell at athletes?

When coaches yell, it’s often because they believe it motivates players or grabs attention quickly. Many coaches lack strong communication skills and don’t realize how harmful yelling can be to athletes’ confidence and performance.

How does yelling affect young athletes?

When coaches yell during practices or games, athletes may lose confidence, fear mistakes, and stop enjoying their sport. Over time, this can lead to burnout or even quitting.

Do all athletes react the same way when coaches yell?

No. Some athletes shut down, others take yelling personally, and a few manage to separate the useful feedback from the harsh delivery. Learning how to respond constructively is key for athlete mental toughness.

Can yelling ever help athletes?

When coaches yell, it may get attention in the short term, but it rarely builds lasting confidence or skills. Respectful communication is far more effective for athlete growth.

What should athletes do when coaches yell?

Athletes should take a deep breath, stay calm, and focus on the message instead of the tone. When coaches yell, athletes can still protect their confidence by extracting useful feedback and ignoring the noise.