How to Best Support Your Young Athlete
Summary: Parents who focus on supporting rather than pressuring their children help them develop a love for sports. Attending matches, cheering, and showing interest builds confidence without causing stress. Allowing kids to choose their sports and participate at their own pace encourages self-motivation. Parents Support is very important.
Here at Kids’ Sports Psychology, we receive many letters from parents who are confused about how much they should pressure their kids.
In fact, it’s not an overstatement to say they agonize about this topic…..Agonize, you might ask. Yes. There’s lots to agonize about when it comes to pressuring your kids in youth sports.
Here’s what parents ask us:
- Should I make my child go to practice when he doesn’t want to?
- Should I insist that my 9-year-old daughter try playing a sport?
- I can see many ways my daughter’s basketball could improve. Should I tell her my ideas after a game? Or would this feel like pressure?
- I often tell my son to score 15 points before a game. My hope is to get him psyched, but lately I’m not so sure I’m helping. What do you suggest?
- My kids got mad at me yesterday for shouting positive things from the sidelines. I thought I was supporting them, but now I find out they think I’m pushing them too hard. How should I behave?
Lisa Cohn recently interviewed Ryan and John, 20-year-old Division 1 wrestlers who say they wouldn’t be where they are without their parents support..
It’s important to make the distinction between support and pressure, they say. Support means attending matches, cheering young athletes on, and videotaping matches. It doesn’t mean pushing kids to take part in sports, or pressuring them to excel, the wrestlers note. It doesn’t even mean talking about technique or trying to coach them before and after matches. Their parents left that to the coaches.
“I started wrestling as a kid because I loved roughhousing with the other kids in the neighborhood,” says Ryan, “I gained a passion for it after I had done it for a couple of years. Every October I would start thinking about how much I wanted to wrestle, about how much I wanted the season to start.”
“My parents didn’t push me at all to wrestle in college. I wanted to. I am a walk on to the team; I pay for my own college, so it is completely my decision,” he says.
“My parents support played a huge role in high school. My parents came to every one of my wrestling matches. I have videos of about all of my matches taken by my parents. My sister was even the statistics girl,” he says.
Only once does he remember his father being critical of a match. Ryan told him he had done his best and didn’t appreciate the feedback; his father never criticized him again, he says.
After a match, the car rides home were mostly full of laughter, he says. Many parents and coaches have told use nightmare stories about the car ride home. “In high school, I won most of the time so there was a big smile on my face and we were always laughing. My mom would laugh about my face during one of the moves or something,” he says.
Another Division 1 wrestler, John, garnered a sports scholarship after wrestling alongside his brother most of his life. For him, wrestling is a family affair.
“Both my parents really supported us. My mom was a huge swimmer and my dad was a great baseball player, so they knew what it was like to play sports. So they knew what support we needed and they were always there for us no matter what we needed,” he says.
What was the most important factor that got these wrestlers where they are?
“Just liking the sport that I was doing and having fun doing it,” says Ryan.
Here at Kids Sports Psychology, we agree that these parents knew just what they were doing. Their aim was to ensure their young athletes enjoyed sports–as kids, teens and into their adulthood. They served as their kids’ cheerleaders, and these two young athletes are reaping the benefits.
1.Focus on Encouragement Over Pressure
Support your child by attending matches, cheering, and showing interest, rather than pressuring them to excel. Positive encouragement builds confidence and helps kids enjoy sports.
2.Let Kids Choose Their Level of Participation
Allow your child to decide which sports to play and how far to pursue them. Self-motivated athletes are more likely to stay committed and develop a lifelong love for sports.
3.Avoid Criticism After Games
Refrain from giving feedback immediately after matches. Criticism can feel like pressure and reduce motivation. Instead, celebrate effort and fun to keep your child engaged.
4.Prioritize Fun and Passion
Encourage your child to focus on enjoyment and personal growth rather than winning. Kids who love their sport perform better, stay committed longer, and develop healthy attitudes toward competition.
Related Sports Psychology Articles
- Why Parents Need to Support Their Kids’ Mental Game
- Self-Criticism In Youth Athletes
- Why Young Athletes Quit Sports
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The Confident Sports Kid
When kids lack confidence, they doubt themselves, stop taking risks, play tentatively, and are hard on themselves. As a result, kids often lose their motivation to improve. Ultimately, these barriers keep them from enjoying sports and making the most of their physical talent.
“The Confident Sports Kid” program is actually two programs: one that teaches sports parents how to boost their kids’ confidence, and another that teaches young athletes age 8 to 18 how to improve their self talk, avoid negative thinking, overcome expectations that limit confidence, and much more. The program will help kids boost their confidence in sports and life…and enjoy sports more.
FAQ: How a Parents Support Helps The Athlete
Q: How can parents support their children in sports without pressuring them?
A: Parents can attend matches, cheer, and show interest in their child’s sports without giving technical advice or setting performance expectations.
Q: Should parents give feedback after games?
A: Feedback should focus on effort and enjoyment, not criticism. Avoid instructing or correcting immediately after matches.
Q: How important is letting kids choose their sports?
A: Allowing children to choose their sport promotes self-motivation and helps them develop a genuine passion for playing.
Q: Can support from parents affect long-term sports participation?
A: Yes, children who feel supported rather than pressured are more likely to stay involved in sports through adolescence and beyond.
Q: What role does having fun play in youth sports?
A: Fun is essential. Kids who enjoy their sport perform better, develop confidence, and are less likely to experience burnout.
Q: How should parents react to mistakes during a game?
A: Focus on positive encouragement. Show support and laughter rather than criticism, helping children maintain confidence and motivation.
How These Sports Parents Support Their Division I Athletes
Kids Sports Psychology expert Patrick Cohn, Ph.D. has helped athletes for over 35 years to enhance their performance. Dr. Cohn earned a master’s degree in sports psychology from CSUF and a Ph.D. from the University of Virginia, specializing in Applied Sports Psychology. Today, he is the president and founder of Peak Performance Sports, LLC in Orlando, Florida.